finding gratitude in the gritty

This week, my wonderful, lovely, compliant and helpful 4-year old has been overtaken by a whiney, sassy, determined and ungrateful pre-teenager.   I don’t know where she came from.  She just walked down the stairs on Tuesday and decided to stay for a while.  Unfortunately for me, her visit also happens to coincide with one of my single-parenting weeks, and right in the midst of potty training C.

I’m trying positive parenting.  I’ve never taken a class, but I’ve seen the phrase and I think it sounds really inspirational.  After all, it’s got to be better than the alternative, right?  Let’s be positive!  So, I’ve taken it to mean that I try to stay positive while my daughter tells me “no” – constantly and unyieldingly.  I bite my tongue when she tells me that she hates what I prepare for dinner, and she swims away from her swim teacher at her private swim class.   I can go on, but I’m guessing you get my drift.   What parent hasn’t had power struggles with their kids?

And then my other daughter literally poops in her pants.

It’s been an awesome week.  And I can’t even have a glass of wine at the end – you know – being 25 weeks pregnant and all.

So in the grittiness of parenting young children, often solo, I’ve been trying to reflect on one of my new years resolutions.  Being intentionally grateful.  And Lordy, sometimes, it’s really hard.

grateful

A friend recently asked me to close my eyes and try and embrace gratitude.  Just sit with it.  Try and feel it.  Open your hearts and hands to it, and in the new year try and find one thing to be grateful for.

Well, if you ever have tried to intentionally sit with gratitude for a few minutes, it’s not so simple.  It’s like meditation.  Your mind wanders.  You think of all the things that are good in your life, and then probably (if you are like me) all the things you would like to change.  It’s very difficult to sit quietly and embrace this one idea of total thankfulness.  After all, we are human.  How many times a day are we totally and completely thankful?

Um, a few?  Once?  Not at all?  Overwhelmingly and embarrassingly, I think about what I’d like to change over what I’m really thankful for.  So today – I’m grateful for very healthy children, including a 25 week baby boy, the sun that shined today and no snow.  And I’m super grateful that in 30 minutes, my house will be totally quiet and I can read a book, or stand on my head, or whatever I darn well please. 

What are you grateful for today?

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