marriage to a 4 year old

There is a new boy in my daughter’s pre-k classroom.   Let’s call him Danny.  And A. is now determined to talk about marriage.  Specifically, she is determined to figure out how to marry Danny.  I asked her why.  Is he smart? Is he nice? Is he sweet? No, well, maybe, but mostly he likes to play “Jake and the Netherland Pirates” on the playground.  Be-still her heart.

In the car. In her bedroom. Getting dressed in the morning. Brushing teeth.  My 4-year old is incredibly concerned about when, how and where she will get married.

I started to blame Disney.  After all isn’t that the ending of most Disney movies?  The princess doesn’t go off to get her masters degree and a kick-ass job at Google.  She gets married.  End of story.  Happily ever after.

Then A. started to point out the pictures of mommy in her “white clothes” around the house.  Does everyone wear white clothes to get married? Mommy looked SO beautiful getting married.  I started thinking that well, maybe she just wanted to do what I did.

wedding clothes

wedding clothes

Well, mostly, I replied.  It’s called a wedding dress.  So of course. Mommy, I want a wedding dress.  I want to look like you.

Not until you are 27. That’s when Mommy got a wedding dress.  How old are you?

4. That’s a lot of years.

Yes, focus on kindergarten first. Then first grade. Then second grade. (at which point she lost interest).

And then she said while eating lunch. Well, I have to marry Danny, because he is a boy.

No, honey. You don’t.  There are lots of girls that marry girls and boys that marry boys.  You do what you think is right; when the time is right.  And that’s many many MANY years from now.  Well, that just blew her little Disney-mind.

And at that point, I started to think I was getting WAY too serious for a preschooler.

But then she asked: well, can we still go on the balloon ride?

Balloon ride, A?

Yes, you go on a balloon ride after you get married.

Ah, sure.  You can TOTALLY go on a balloon ride.

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