what a freaking bummer

Anyone else feeling a little bummed out by the news lately?

One night, while OUTBREAK was flashing across the bottom of my 24 hour CNN nightly newscast, I got to thinking: if the Ebola doesn’t kill me, than the Entrovirus 68 is sure to come my way, or at least come after my kids. And if we LUCKY enough to escape those two rogue viruses, than sure enough – it’s the start of the flu season. And between my two nose-picking-hand-wiping preschoolers, and my husband who flies commercial airlines every other week, I’m sure we are bound to end up with at least a good old flu/stomach bug between the months of October and March. SWEEEET. Bring it on.

And if, but some random act of God, we end up spared Ebola, the Entrovirus, the flu and the stomach bug, well…then there is ISIS. Or ISIL. Or whatever we are calling the WORST-OF-THE-WORST terrorists these days.  I’m pretty sure every time I see a map of the Middle East, that red spider-like-web of ISIL controlled-territory keeps growing bigger and bigger.

And while I’m not sure exactly why I – in particular – should be afraid of this ruthless militant group thousands of miles away, the news and our politicians do an exceptionally good job of making me want to shut my windows and lock my doors in case the ISIL RED-WEB-OF-DEATH spills over the atlantic ocean into my backyard.

And don’t even get me started on the Congressmen who is hypothesizing Hamas terrorists may INFECT THEMSELVES WITH EBOLA and sneak into the US.   WHAT?!?  I think we should just leave the United States right now and head to Canada.  It MUST be safer up there.

And lest we not forget Al Qaeda. Or Afghanistan. Or Ferguson. Or the incompetence of our political leadership (see above quote).  Or the massive fires and droughts in California, or simultaneous hurricanes that just swept over Bermuda and Hawaii.

And SO…this is why I’ve started to mute much of the 24 hr news and decided, for at least a few weeks, to get all my news from the ELLEN show.  Wanna join me?  It will put you in MUCH better spirits.

This is my important news from last week:

I found out about Devon Still, a Football player for the Bengals whose 4-year old daughter has cancer.  When he learned of her diagnosis this summer, Still was granted permission by the Bengals to leave organized team activities and minicamp in June to attend to his daughter.

The Bengals had no choice but to cut him in September. However, the team re-signed him to the practice squad so Still would continue to get a paycheck and health insurance.  

Since then, more than 12,000 of his jerseys have been sold, and fans across the world tweet messages of support with #StillStrong (including the Patriots Cheerleaders who wore his jersey during one of the NFL games).  As a result, the team is donating all $1 million-plus of profit to the Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Center.   GAWK.   

And yes, I started crying when I heard this story of FEEL-GOOD-AWESOMENESS-NEWS even in the midst of tragedy.  Humans are good.  Life is good.  People are really good to each other, despite what we hear on the news and often despite what politicians would have us believe.   So for now – and until I get tired of videos of puppies and small children – goodbye, CNN and hello, ELLEN.

marriage to a 4 year old

There is a new boy in my daughter’s pre-k classroom.   Let’s call him Danny.  And A. is now determined to talk about marriage.  Specifically, she is determined to figure out how to marry Danny.  I asked her why.  Is he smart? Is he nice? Is he sweet? No, well, maybe, but mostly he likes to play “Jake and the Netherland Pirates” on the playground.  Be-still her heart.

In the car. In her bedroom. Getting dressed in the morning. Brushing teeth.  My 4-year old is incredibly concerned about when, how and where she will get married.

I started to blame Disney.  After all isn’t that the ending of most Disney movies?  The princess doesn’t go off to get her masters degree and a kick-ass job at Google.  She gets married.  End of story.  Happily ever after.

Then A. started to point out the pictures of mommy in her “white clothes” around the house.  Does everyone wear white clothes to get married? Mommy looked SO beautiful getting married.  I started thinking that well, maybe she just wanted to do what I did.

wedding clothes

wedding clothes

Well, mostly, I replied.  It’s called a wedding dress.  So of course. Mommy, I want a wedding dress.  I want to look like you.

Not until you are 27. That’s when Mommy got a wedding dress.  How old are you?

4. That’s a lot of years.

Yes, focus on kindergarten first. Then first grade. Then second grade. (at which point she lost interest).

And then she said while eating lunch. Well, I have to marry Danny, because he is a boy.

No, honey. You don’t.  There are lots of girls that marry girls and boys that marry boys.  You do what you think is right; when the time is right.  And that’s many many MANY years from now.  Well, that just blew her little Disney-mind.

And at that point, I started to think I was getting WAY too serious for a preschooler.

But then she asked: well, can we still go on the balloon ride?

Balloon ride, A?

Yes, you go on a balloon ride after you get married.

Ah, sure.  You can TOTALLY go on a balloon ride.